Regies

MEAT AND POTATOES: our weaponry of choice this weekend in Orlando. Handcrafted and cooked to demolish the competition. Running, catching, throwing, and marking. 40 yards of hell.

New Chancellor of the Smithsonian Institute!

I hate to say I told you so. No, I hate to be able to say I told you so. Wilkommen et bienvenue to our newest Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts...may you exceed my expectations. Yet, I'm not really sure what to think of you actually considering you refused to answer many questions during your hearings.

The post title is to illuminate one of the lesser known roles of the Chief Justice. Other duties include presiding presidential impeachment hearings in the Senate. Conspiracy Theorist Bonus Round: Will President Bush do something really really really bad (worse than what he's already done) and have an impeachment trial?

I'm Gonna Git You (wit mah) Sucka!

Architeuthis! That name has been the lifelong foe of many a pirate, given nightmares to Jacques Cousteau and sushi chefs alike, and vindicated Robert Kingsley (who believed in it all along). Yeah I'm talking giant squid! How giant? 25 feet long. Recently one was photographed in the wild for the first time ever--near the Bonin Islands of Japan at a depth of 900 meters--not 20,000 leagues.
Here's a picture of it attacking some bait. Some squid bait! Oh yeah, these touchy feely mothers are cannabalistic too. What more could you ask of from an elusive and murky killer of the ocean depths? Attachable arms...its Stretch Armstrong AND Mr. Potato Head in one. While it rassled with its bait an arm got stuck. So it just jetisoned the 18' thang. Much to the scientists delight, the arm was still functioning and attached when they reeled in the rope. Creepy!

Anyways, Architeuthis, we are glad you are alive! Hip hip hooooooray! (another two post day!)

"Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation"

Ah, the state motto. How wondrous it resounds in my ears. While the Orpheus rufus flies its way through the branches of the Quercus virginiana to land near a few gorgeous specimens of Rosa laevigata, it might whistle out a grand ol' tune by Stuart Gorrell. While I meander down the great causeways of Atlanta, listening to my radio, I might whistle out the following to two very interesting people in our state government:
..-. / ..- / -.-. / -.- / .. / -. / --. / .. / -.. / .. / --- / - / ... / !
Sure it might not be as catchy as a Kanye West beat, but its got soul.

I speak of course firstly of Zell Miller(video link). He's crazy. I'll leave it at that.

Equally crazy, it seems, is Sonny Purdue. Recently he declared two snow days for all schools to help protect against possible fuel shortages caused by Hurricane Rita. Think of the fuel it saves! Oh...they are going to make up the school days? Maybe by then everyone will have traded in their hummers and all school buses will be running on natural gas.

Reasons why this is dumb mcdummyums.

• the aforementioned fuel will be used later anyways
• the fuel supply is running fine into Georgia anyways, as Rita didn't have the worst-feared impact
• thousands of families had to scramble for childcare for their kids over the weekend and spend unecessary money on it
• fuel prices come before education? The Daily Show is right - its a perfect example of the new ECLB initiative. Every Child Left Behind
• it gives us further incentive to remember other dumb school closings, like 1-2 inches of snow that have melted by the time the actual declared "snow day" rolls around
• kids not in school are using a whole heck of a lot more gas than the buses would driving places or having their parents drive them places
• teenagers do things, or other things, or even other things (I hope not this) while not in school or under the supervision of adults who can't get off work

So next time you look at this image...

think about your Georgia state motto - well, the last word of it I 'spose. Yes, its debatable whether these school buses could have been used to evacuate people in New Orleans (logistics of drivers, clear roadways, getting people to the buses, how many actually work, and possibility of commandeering them from the private company that owns them). However, its not debatable whether the Georgia school buses could be used. And they should have.

Links provided in this post were for humor's sake. I'm serious about the topic...but as you know, I always maintain a small kernel of rascaltude.

Up Close and Fur-sonal.

Well here they are. Part of my double post for today. Closeups make them look cute, but not as cute as they are in person. I present to you my dogs.Sesto - New Guinea Singing Dog (NGSD). The elder stateswoman of the house. 4ish years old.


Janus - dalmation mix. The new recruit - a crazy loose cannon on the police force. 1yr +

Eddie Cocker?

Pass this on to yer family and friends....even enemies if you are into fighting hate with love.

The olde mother, as she is wont to do, has forwarded me another e-mail for my perusal. This one caught my eye however...The National Do Not Call List. Apparently cell phone numbers are going to be released to telemarketers in about a month, and we'll be charged with costs just like any other cell call. While I don't have any problem with individual telemarketers--the companies that hire them are evil entities fit to be exterminated. So please login here to register your phones. For your enjoyment here's a typical conversation. I'm in blue.

*ring ring*

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Uh yes, is Mr.....Cocker there?

Yes, this is him.

Hello Ed Cocker, this is Thomas from Pigeon Forge Travel. Have you ever been to Pigeon Forge before?

Yes, I've driven through there a couple of times, but I'm probably never going to go back there.

Great! So you've seen our town. Well we have several packages for weekend getaways we'd love to offer you.

I just said I'd never go....well anyways I'm busy for the forseeable future playing ultimate frisbee all weekend long.

...... ....... How about the last weekend in October? The leaves are beautiful here. Have you ever been to Dollywood?

That weekend is nationals, sorry. I've never been to Dollywood and I don't want to go. Have a nice day!

Did you know that Pidgeon Forge has hiking, several great restaur....

Hey, I've told you several reasons I am not coming to Pidgeon Forge OR Dollywood. If you don't listen to me, I'm not listening to you. G'day.

*click*

Dactyls, Lebensraum, and Apocalyptica

I'm going to make a wager. You who are reading this don't read that many poems. Eh? I'm right? Well that sucks. Make it at least part of a weekly routine. Most of 'em don't even take up a whole page!

Anyways, two of my favorite poems (the first is my favorite). You will notice a similar theme to the rest of my blog. Cheat-link if you need to. The images should be enough. More poems to come in the future.

SEPTEMBER 1, 1939 - W.H. Auden
I sit in one of the dives
On Fifty-second Street
Uncertain and afraid
As the clever hopes expire
Of a low dishonest decade:
Waves of anger and fear
Circulate over the bright
And darkened lands of the earth,
Obsessing our private lives;
The unmentionable odour of death
Offends the September night.

Accurate scholarship can
Unearth the whole offence
From Luther until now
That has driven a culture mad,
Find what occurred at Linz,
What huge imago made
A psychopathic god:
I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.

Exiled Thucydides knew
All that a speech can say
About Democracy,
And what dictators do,
The elderly rubbish they talk
To an apathetic grave;
Analysed all in his book,
The enlightenment driven away,
The habit-forming pain,
Mismanagement and grief:
We must suffer them all again.

Into this neutral air
Where blind skyscrapers use
Their full height to proclaim
The strength of Collective Man,
Each language pours its vain
Competitive excuse:
But who can live for long
In an euphoric dream;
Out of the mirror they stare,
Imperialism's face
And the international wrong.
Faces along the bar
Cling to their average day:
The lights must never go out,
The music must always play,
All the conventions conspire
To make this fort assume
The furniture of home;
Lest we should see where we are,
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
Who have never been happy or good.

The windiest militant trash
Important Persons shout
Is not so crude as our wish:
What mad Nijinsky wrote
About Diaghilev
Is true of the normal heart;
For the error bred in the bone
Of each woman and each man
Craves what it cannot have,
Not universal love
But to be loved alone.

From the conservative dark
Into the ethical life
The dense commuters come,
Repeating their morning vow;
'I will be true to the wife,
I'll concentrate more on my work,
'And helpless governors wake
To resume their compulsory game:
Who can release them now,
Who can reach the dead,
Who can speak for the dumb?

All I have is a voice
To undo the folded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky:
There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.

Defenseless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages:
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.

The Second Coming - W. B. Yeats

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all convictions, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

"Shock" and Awwww....darn!

You know when you think you've got a good idea... And it goes horribly wrong for you after a while? Well, maybe it wasn't the best idea to begin with. Some interesting news compiled about the War in Iraq:

21% of the US believes we can win the War in Iraq. The most advanced military in the world (I have several friends over there now) meets a rebel force without centralized leadership without a true industrial backing, and constantly on the run. Americans don't believe they can win the war with the odds stacked so heavily in their favor. 22% said the US would probably win. Yes that leads the majority (51% Bush 48% Kerry in the last election) to think we've F(You See Kay)ed it up. As you can tell by my parenthetical observance, more than several people have lost faith in their candidate who ran on strong leadership vs terrorism.

32% approved of his handling of the War. Not sure how that jives with the top italicized statistic. 63% favored full or partial withdrawal. 54% favored cutting spending on the conflict to pay for rebuilding the Gulf Coast after Hurricane Katrina. Those are the smartest 54% in the land. Wish the government had been in that majority before Katrina (and soon Rita) hit.

More than 1,900 American Troops have been killed since the war started. The VAST majority of which were after Saddam's regime was toppled. 2,819 people died in the attacks of 9/11. The total number of Americans killed in this unjustified war (no WMD, no Al Qaeda link ever proven) is greater than the following:
Number of people killed in Tower One - 1,402
Number of people who lost a spouse or a partner in the attacks - 1,609
and very close to the total number of people killed in Towers One and Two - 2,016

Some of those statistics are kinda shocking, but here's something not-so-shocking.

27 % think the new Iraqi government could handle its business. While 68% say a US withdrawal would lead to chaos and civil war. I've got to agree with the 68% here. I'm therefore not sure where to fall on whether or not withdrawal is a good idea. Americans are getting killed. Innocent Iraqis are getting killed. Its not quite clear whether leaving would mean more terrorism here or there or everywhere...however....

A report issued this month by a United Nations panel established to monitor al Qaeda and its associates said the terrorist group is exploiting the situation in Iraq, bringing in recruits from around the world and training them in urban warfare, bomb-making and other terrorist skills. Awwww...darn! But not shocking at all. This is the biggest spitting into the wind one could ever do. Apparently Al Qaeda has recovered from the loss of Afghanistan as a training camp and is now using Iraq with more recruits better tactics and a stronger more defiant and multi-cultural base. Al Qaeda, the masterminds of 9/11, have not been caught and are now strengthening - pulling off several attacks including the bombings in London. I think if we had sent 130,000 troops to Afghanistan or the Pakistani border, I guarantee we would have found Osama Bin Laden by now.

OK OK....my fingers are itching to go ballistic on the stupidity of our leadership. I don't have any answers, but I think our government should.

In Disharmony

I've been thinking a lot recently about how powerful nature is. Take a look at this picture of Hurricane Rita. It really looks like some sort of monster set to devour the coastline. Almost like the Allseeing Eye from the Lord of the Rings. Whipping trees and the like about at 150 mph and over 250 miles wide--this is a wind spirit I wouldn't want to encounter. Has this hurricane season helped us realize that there are some places that man cannot overcome? Will there be a time where mankind has advanced enough technologically to overcome nature...from the mild inconveniences of a summer rain to the upheaval of an earthquake? As long as the first few utterances of a casual conversation involve weather, I doubt it.

Regardless, the people of NOLA still need our help. Visit the Red Cross to donate.

Compact Concept Discs

I humbly submit to you four different albums all based around a concept. You know I wouldn't be bringing them to you if they weren't good. So hop on Amazon/iTunes to give them a quick listen if you are wont. I suppose you could go down to your local music store and do the same. I realized my blog doesn't have enough of my artistic side in it, so here's some appreciation.

Prince Paul - A Prince Among Thieves
This is rap's version of The Who's Tommy. Well sorta. It's the continued story of two friends who end up in every aspect of gangsta culture. As the DJ for De La Soul, Prince Paul is also able to draw on heavy hitting guest stars from Everlast to Biz Markie to Chris Rock. Not only is the beat masterful--he provides distinctive songs for each chapter, and overall spins a pretty good yarn.
DJ Shadow - The Private Press

Few (if any) DJs can even approach Shadow without complete awe. If the man's record collection were metaphorically translated it would be into grains of sand on the beach. His debut album Endtroducing... was heralded as a genre changer. Each song was completely comprised of samples from old records, some very recognizable. Overall he creates a tone that offers dancability but a greater philosophical feeling--sort of dark and badass. After spending months and months in America's used record stores, you'd think he would lose touch with his musicality. He does not. As a conceptual musical quilt-maker, he does quite well for himself.

Handsome Boy Modeling School - White People

Another gift from Prince Paul, HBMS is his collaboration with Dan the Automator. Both super-producers, they create together pretty darn good hip-hop and pretty darn good music. Its concept comes from the Chris Elliot skitcom "Get a Life". If that isn't obscure enough for you, take a listen. Its downright funny in parts - with Father Guido Sarducci and Tim Meadow's "Ladies Man" of SNL fame in addition to the real? Jay-Z and Method Man in a dating skit. Regardless the music itself is another whirlwind tour of cameos. Jack Johnson on "Breakdown" is stellar, but the whole album is great. Gorillaz - Demon Days

Well, I'd be hard pressed to skip out on the first "conceptual Hip-Hop group". The lead singer from Blur and his flatmate come together to create some wonderful music in the guise of four animated hip-hop cartoon characters. Switching producers from Dan the Automator (on their first self-titled album) to DJ Danger Mouse of Gray Album fame (Jay-Z laid over the Beatles' White Album). There's not a catchy or memorable song on the eclectic album. A personal favorite track: "Fire Coming Out Of A Monkey's Head" - an apocalyptic story read by Dennis Hopper. Oh its cool. Trust me.

#1 out of 365

The day of all days has come upon us. Once per year all of humanity aligns as one to honor its greatest members: pirates. Yep, its international talk like a pirate day. So if you see someone stumbling about on a peg leg, talking to a parrot whilst hoisting aloft a flagon of rum, you can give them a knowing smile and a hearty "Yarrrrrr!!!"

If you're not sure how to sharpen your cutlass or swab the poopdeck, go to the Official TLaPD Site. The links section is killer.

"Good Hands"

I'd heard recounts of this story, but the video really does it justice. It's a pretty inspiring individual effort for sports. About all I need to say on the subject.

Fictional Fat Cats

The post below about the richest 500 people in the world made me more curious as to the backstory of Thurston Howell III from Gilligan's Island fame. After a bit of poking around, I found a great list on Forbes.com with the 15 Richest Fictional People. Glad to see C. Montgomery Burns and Bruce Wayne on the list. Looks like they did some research...or at least had a good day at the bar after work hammering it out. The writeups are pretty funny/imaginative:
McDuck, Scrooge
Age: 80
Source: Mining
Net Worth: $8.2 Billion
Hometown: Duckberg
Marital Status: Single
Planet's richest waterfowl amassed one of the world's largest collections of gold coins and paper currency, kept in giant money bin atop hill in native Duckburg. Enjoys swimming in money. Moved to American West from native Scotland, amassing fortune from gold and copper mines. No longer invests--keeps everything in cash. Never gives to charity; never married. Lives in mansion with three great-nephews, Huey, Dewey and Louie. Member since 1947

News that's fit to print!

For a couple days now a news story has been rumbling around CNN's various incarnations. It really makes me wonder what producers are thinking. Picture this:

A bunch of cute, cuddly animals that are nearly-as-intelligent-as-us-so-we-learn-about-nature-from-them-better find themselves in the midst of an aquarium in the midst of a hurricane. Like most of the region, their house is destroyed. Soon they find themselves helpless, adrift in the sea and unable to fend for themselves because they have been thoroughly domesticated. Who will come to their aid? Will they recapture them in time before all the mean nasty sharks get them? How heroic those searching must be to find them in the midst of the vastness of an ocean...it's almost as noble as the quest for the Holy Grail.

And now they've found them...only rescuing the two most sickly and transporting them (not kidding) in a DolphinMobile to a Holiday Inn pool with the help of a police escort. The seas becaame too choppy to rescue the rest and we can only pray that they can survive a couple more days.

Now what, please tell me, is this doing as one of the main things in the news? Why is some news crew wasting their time with this when so many more heroic and meaningful things are going on? CNN has had a whole host of sort of tongue-in-cheek newscasts over the years, crazy did-you-know stories from across the nation. In my opinion this sort of thing really shouldn't be on the major news networks. It's too glib...flavor stories designed to make you crack a small smile. While its good to take things less seriously, its not good when professional journalists prioritize it over other more important news and investigative journalism.

Way to go flipper! You're as important news as insurance companies refusing to pay people in the NOLA area.

500 > 416

Ye olde radio told me yesterday that the richest 500 people in the world have the same income as the poorest 416 million.
"Greed captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit." - Gordon Gekko, Wall Street

Disaster.

Hurricane Katrina has leveled a serious blow to our nation. There was and is a catastrophic loss of life. Hundreds of thousands of people are displaced from their homes, family members, and jobs. I've spent time talking with my wife about the tragedy, watching news reports from New Orleans and the area, and thinking about it in general. There has been blame flying back and forth over what was obviously a failed prevention and relief effort. I'm happy to see that it is beginning to come around, as thousands of volunteers and millions of good people from this country put sweat and muscle to attack the situation head on. Apparently, the US public pledges around $587m in aid - more than initial donations for 9/11 and the Asian tsunami. It's clear that blame cannot lie solely in one place. While quite true that no one created Katrina. There are two inarguable facts that are going to damage the psyche of hundreds of Americans.

ONE -The President did not end his vacation to lead in a time of crisis. You can see him pictured above at the Mirage RV Resort and Country Club for "Medicare Monday" on Aug 29th. He didn't arrive on foot in the area till Sept 2nd.
TWO -The former (until last Friday) head of FEMA, Michael Brown, was unqualified and clueless.

The first fact really reminds me of this:

"I am very aware of the cameras. I'm trying to absorb that knowledge. I have nobody to talk to. I'm sitting in the midst of a classroom with little kids, listening to a children's story and I realize I'm the Commander in Chief and the country has just come under attack."

One of Bush's major draws in the election was that he was perceived as a man who will lead in a time of crisis...a "do"er...not a talker. The two times that he has been required to take decisive quick action, he has failed. Sadly, these two times are two of the most lasting tragedies in United States history. Paralyzed, aloof, or clueless: it is unclear. That he is still perceived of as a "problem-solver" and a strong leader shocks and amazes me.

What shocks me equally is that during the course of writing this post, I see the following report on CNN.com: "To the extent the federal government didn't fully do its job right, I take responsibility," Bush says. Halle-freakin-lujah. It's about time.

Regardless of his late-blame-taking, Bush's inaction has really dealt a blow to America. One of government's primary responsibilities is the protection of the people in time of crisis. We are going to be hard pressed to ignore the lack of a response from the top down to the crisis of Hurricane Katrina. The cajones of Kanye West vocalized a growing concern over an issue that will damage America. "George Bush doesn't care about black people" and other equally potent comments on the NBC telethon are telling in their outrage. People are seeing the treatment of Katrina Victims at the Civic Center and Superdome in terms of socio-economics and race. Perhaps they should. Idiotic quotes abound...but how far does the apple fall from the tree?

"What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them." - Barbara Bush

On to my second topic. How does someone without qualification come to the head of one of the most important organizations for our national security? By teaching people how to check out horses.

Its funny-in-a-weird way that the head of FEMA was forced to resign from a position as judge instructor for the Arabian Horse Association. Aristocrat? Probably. Renaissance man? I'll give him the benefit of the doubt as per my blog title. His little experience in crisis-management of any scale became abruptly clear following the hurricane.

"We just learned of the convention center – we being the federal government – today." –FEMA Director Michael Brown, to ABC's Ted Koppel, Sept. 1, 2005, to which Koppel responded " Don't you guys watch television? Don't you guys listen to the radio? Our reporters have been reporting on it for more than just today."

I bet you didn't know that the former director of FEMA was Joe M. Allbaugh. He was formerly Bush's Chief of Staff when he was Governor of Texas. Qualified! Campaign Manager for Bush's 2000 campaign. Qualified! Despite all those qualifications, he turned over the reigns to his childhood friend and OK State college roomate, Brown. Qualified!

There's a letter that comes after G...as in Gee Whiz. It's H, as in Halliburton. In March 2005, Allbaugh registered as lobbyist on behalf of Kellogg, Brown, and Root along with his wife Diane. He lobbies FEMA and other agencies on behalf of KBR and its parent company---you guessed it...the H word. Take a quick look here to read about how Halliburton and Allbaugh have been on the frontline of contracts for the rebuilding of New Orleans. Let the circle be unbroken! Novus Ordo Seclorum.

I hope that this spurs you on to think about how leaders get their positions. Why aren't presidential candidates straight-A students? Why can't we get a FEMA director who has had some semblence of crisis management?

Yeah I'm mad. It's ridiculous. F'ing ridiculous. Just watch a couple videos on iFilm to get whatever "liberal" taste you think I might have left in your mouth out and get to where I'm speaking from.

- Geraldo Rivera and Shepard Smith reporting

- Jefferson Parish President Aaron Broussard appears in an inverview on Meet the Press

- iFilm compilation

- Dodging the blame game - Scott McClellan

That's enough for now.

Tree Lightning Sponge

The miracle of all miracles is upon us. I read about this phenomena in the AFDC forums today--and can only hope that it will spread to the ends of the earth. Patient study, subtle manual dexterity, and cognitive celerity will allow those once hampered by the simple-but-elegant "3-Way SysteM' of Roshambo to break free into the greater world of RPS-15.



The website offers further explanation, if the diagram is at all confusing. Start warming up your fingers.

For further reading on Roshambo....click here.

Hi! My name is..

...John Roberts...
And I'll be your new Supreme Court Chief Justice. I'm confirmed? Heck no! People know who I am? Heck no! George Bush knows who I am? Probably not!

How in the name of all that is good in this world can someone be nominated for one of the most important judicial positions on the planet earth without going first being the step below that? Am I taking crazy pills? Maybe the same crazy pills I took when the two nominees for president weren't straight A students at the best universities our country had to offer? Why the hell not have the most qualified people for the job--the people that have the greatest range of understanding and comprehension for the task at hand?

They didn't have Jerry Lewis in charge of the Manhattan Project. This matters. This is something important. Why not have someone extremely qualified to be a job applicant for it? I know Roberts is no judicial pushover...but why not have someone who was actually ON the supreme court be a nominee for its head?

Just a question.