"Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate." So sayeth Monty Python, and His word be Law.
Luckily not everyone follows the law THAT closely, except apparently the Duggar family. This prolific couple has put even the peskiest intergalactic pest to shame. There might be hornier things in Arizona, but definitely nothing can hold a candle to the total package this family has to offer.
16 kids. SIXTEEN. One mom. A dad named Jim Bob. A site named www.jimbob.info (and a "new" site as well--one family with two websites?!)
Oh, could it get better? Yes. The kids all have "J" names.
Joshua, 17; John David, 15; Janna, 15; Jill, 14; Jessa, 12; Jinger, 11; Joseph, 10; Josiah, 9; Joy-Anna, 8; Jeremiah, 6; Jedidiah, 6; Jason, 5; James(link with sound) 4; Justin, 2; Jackson Levi, 1; and now Johannah.
I'm sure Jehosophat is next. A Jill but no Jack. A Jinger (!) but no Jennifer?
There are so many questions associated with this whole thing. So instead of going absolutely crazy retelling their magnificently strange story or pre-answering FAQs about the logistics of the whole thing, I'll just let you check out their websites.
Instead, I made a top ten list of things an 18-person family can do.
10. Shop at Sam's Club or else hold a weekly UFC to cut down on food costs!
9. Sink Rhode Island with their combined weight.
8. Make a more impressive one of these.
7. Win a human iditarod
6. Double----er 18-tuple date with the Partridge Family AND the Brady Bunch.
5. Create their own government, including three whole branches!
4. Have their own team dance competition
3. Maybe....just maybe...eat more than Takeru Kobayashi.
2. Dress up as almost all of Madonna's "image reincarnations" for Halloween.
1. Have their own Ultimate Team.
Fine, I have to say it. They are secretly grooming a clone army to take over the Republic.
Grab your lightsabers.
2 comments:
I was about to say they could make their own traveling roller derby team, but that appears to be a predominantly
female sport these days.
Well, I suppose they could split into two teams managed by each parent and do a traveling exhibition. Nothing like sibling rivalry to fuel the bloodlust.
Roller derby or not, I'm sure there's a reality show just itching to be made about these folks.
Have fun putting those kids through college...how many times do you think the eldest son has heard his parents having...uhhh...good "conversation".
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