Nedstradamus

A miner in Chiapas found a teeny tiny tree frog that had been perserved in amber for about 25 million years. 25 million years in amber. I guess it's better than tar.

So I got to thinking...

I will obviously become fully encased and preserved in amber (see above). Around the time I die carbonite will be in high demand, causing "Ambering" to be a cheap alternative.

What will I find when I'm finally chiseled or lasered from my sticky, goldesque prison--25 million years in the future (give or take a few)? Here are a few possibilities. DO NOT DOUBT MY PRECOGNITIVE ABILITIES, FOR I FORSEE YOUR FUTURE POSSIBLY NOT INVOLVING MY FIST AND YOUR FACE...SHOULD YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT!

Back to Nedstradamus' predictions.

• Tiny Tree Frogs will free me from my Amber prison with Tiny Tree Tools, having taken over the entire field of Science by finally learning to communicate with us. They begin their careers in science by dissecting humans in 8th grade. Oh, the irony
• Sean Connery will still be widely considered the best James Bond
  
• Michael Jackson will look black again (it's a cyclical thing, not an irreversible trend like many have thought), being the only person of our generation to live for that long without carbonite or ambering because his body is made entirely of plastic. He rules as Los Angeles' Eldest King alongside Pamela Anderson's breasts.
• Flying cars are widely available, but are on the decline thanks to the new vehicle fad--the Burrowmobile
• We discover an alien race who shares a single sentience. Its name is "Tom" and it is short for Thomas.
• Protesting the decline of American morality is still popular--septexuals are the primary target
• The Jedi came and went -- their lightsabers were as cool as everyone imagined they would be
• Half of the world economy depends on the outcome of nightly Texas Hold'Em games
• Mexican food has completely taken over American cuisine and its resulting methane has completely overtaken the fuel industry
• Denmark really is rotten, about 2 feet beneath the surface