You know when you get a streak of things you want to write about? Well I'm in the middle of one. During my commute to Stone Mountain I like to listen to NPR until Lois Reitzes starts chiming in with her strange voice for Second Cup Concert. Then it is into enemy territory for me, WSB 750--home of Boortz, Hannity, and assorted other ridiculous talking heads.
I am learning a lot about debating--which I'd lost since my complete domination of policy debate for one year using the Cuban Health Care System as a comprehensive solution to America's health care. They twist, wriggle, gyrate, and duck questions and topics in ways I couldn't possibly imagine. And I can imagine quite a bit. Deflection and deferment -- freaking oratory Criss Angels. About 45 minutes yesterday on my way home I learned it was un-American to call our government and its activities in Iraq oppressive. Does that mean that Martin Luther King was un-American because he felt like America was systematically oppressing black people?
One of the MAJOR OUTRAGES yesterday in the Senate and on WSB 750 was that Nancy Pelosi (second in line to the Presidency mind you), had requested a larger plane be at her disposal. Well, it turns out that today, she had nothing to do with the request--it was actually the Senate's Sergeant-at-Arms (does he carry a guisarme?) who was concerned about security on a plane that had to make a refueling stop between Washington and her district in California. Bigger plane = bigger gas tank. I hopped on the website to see if I could find an apology for wasting vital radio waves with such a tirade that turned out not to be true. After all, I've heard countless promises that if a listener or guest could possibly ever prove that they were fallible in an argument that they would publicly apologize and accept the guest/listener's viewpoint.
Well, such was obviously not the case. I'm sure I'll hear some contortionism on the way home about how they were really talking about some other subject etc etc...
HOWEVER, during my search I found my new stomach-churning site. It's not full of surgery pictures, deformed animals, or war reporting. It's Hannidate.com.
Hannidate.com
Yep, Hannidate.com
Apparently nothing turns on Conservatives more than the idea of being fixed up by a website born of Sean Hannity. Nothing says lifelong commitment like Sean Hannity. Nothing says soul mate (not soul-mate) like Sean Hannity. They'd be better off if it was Hannidate.com.
Well, luckily for you, my silent but loyal blog reader, there's a featured profile. I end this post with the text of said profile.
Warning: Bleeding Heart Satire! I'm totally projecting all of my (some fake but all outrageous) anti-conservative prejudices on this poor soul just looking for love. So please take my [non linked commentary] lightly. Take my linking "comments" as you will. All in good fun.
Looking for my Annie Oakley [see above pic]
Member Name: TwoAlpha
Member ID: T001646
Caucasian / White, 27, Single - Never Married [darn, could have been 4/4 if he'd been divorced thrice] Los Alamos, New Mexico
United States
Personal Details
Gender: Male
Age: 27 (28-Nov-1979)
Race: Caucasian / White
Marital Status: Single - Never Married
Children: 0
Religion: Christian / Catholic
Drinking: Socially
Smoking: Cigar
Food: German
Occupation: Engineering
Education: Bachelors degree
Languages: English (Fluent)
French (Minimal)
Interests: Volunteer / Charity
Travel / Sightseeing
Sailing / Boating
Religion
Politics
Nature
Music - Rock
Music - Dance / Electronic
Music - Country
Music - Classical / Opera
Music - Blues/Jazz [yeah right]
Museums / Galleries [yeah right part two]
Movies / Cinema
Hiking / Camping
Football / Soccer / Rugby
Food and Wine
Cycling
Cooking
Computers / Internet
Cars / Motorcycles
Billiards / Pool / Darts
Baseball / Softball
Athletics
Eye Colour: Green
Hair Colour: Light Brown
Body Type: Average
Height: 6'00" - (183 cm)
General Information
Hello there. Well first off I'll say that I'm on here
because I truly would like to meet a conservative, like
minded woman. I'm big into the outdooors. I like hiking,
camping, fishing, hunting, shooting and a lazy day at the
lake. Of course there has to be balance and I'm just as at
home watching a movie, cooking dinner for a special someone,
going out to eat or playing pool at the bar. I'm also a
competitive shooter (only pistol at the moment but looking
to expand) and I enjoy it immensely. If you've never gone
shooting before I suggest you give it a try. It's a blast,
pun intended of course! I'm close to my family and I
certainly enjoy traveling with them. I like to see new
places and I'm a museum junkie. Learning about history is
something I enjoy very much. The more I learn the more I
realize the problems society has today are certainly nothing
new. I've got a very good sense of humor and enjoy
laughing. The only thing I enjoy more than laughing is
putting a smile on someone's face. I suppose you could say
that my humor is a combination of wit, sarcasm, nerdiness
and sometimes a little raunchiness. No need to hold back
when you're trying to make someone laugh! My dad is a
veterinarian so I'm a sucker for animals. I'm a dog lover
and horses come a close second. I haven't ridden horses in a
while and my apartment complex doesn't allow dogs so I try
and get my dose of animals whenever I can. Usually that's
when I visit my family. I'm an engineer at a laboratory
and I really enjoy my job. I suppose I'm a little nerdy at
times but my job doesn't define who I am. I try and leave
work at work and enjoy myself to the fullest when I don't
have to work.
Appearance
I'm 6 feet tall and about 225lbs. I spend some time in the
gym because I enjoy being strong and in shape. I'm not some
body builder or Abercrombie model, just a regular guy that
can easily move furniture and other heavy things. I find
that women like it when they have a guy that can that for
them. I suppose I'm a regular handyman. I don't dress up
too often since I usually end up getting dirty because of my
job and hobbies. At work it's usually overalls or ****ies
pants with a t-shirt. I will dress nicely for church, dates
and other special occasions. As for facial hair I
usually go through phases. I'll grow a goatee, shave it off.
Grow a mustache, shave it off. A little variety never hurt.
If you don't like facial hair then just wait a couple weeks,
it'll change.
Looking for
It's hard to quantify what I'm looking for. Some basics are
in order though. I'm looking for a conservative woman who
shares some of my hobbies with me. She should be witty and
have a great sense of humor. Intelligent conversation is
always enjoyed and I like a woman who has something to say
whether I agree with it or not. Of course if we're on the
same conservative wavelength I wouldn't think that there
would be too many disagreements. A friend at first is what
I'm looking for and come what may after we get to know each
other. I'm Catholic and that's a big part of my life. I
certainly don't require that of the woman I'm looking for,
just a good Christian grounding.
Gender: Female
Age From: 21
Age To: 30
2 comments:
First of all, Ned, I'm not offended by your post. But I am offended that you thought I would be offended.
I, too, listen to 750 in the car off and on, mostly because of the traffic reports every 25 seconds. It's easy to get sucked in, and my general assessment of conservative talk radio is twofold: 1) you can't let it get to you and 2) remember that the people who listen to these shows think of you as just as big of an idiot as you do of them.
And also I think you're wrong- these guys aren't even GOOD at debating. Their little tricks are horribly transparent, and I'm sort of frightened by the idea that some people are NOT hip to that. It's bad to the point that you can tell they're blocking out callers' voices. And the things they try to do with semantics- I once heard Sean Hannity accuse a caller of calling American troops in Iraq "terrorists" because the caller said that in a specific situation (I can't remember which one) troops had "terrorized" Iraqi women and children in their homes. Do people actually buy that? Yikes.
The bigger question for me here is "who are these talk radio hosts really and why do they do what they do?" Are they just showmen putting on an act? Do they think they're serving a higher purpose? Or do they really BELIEVE what they're saying? Again, I say- yikes.
However, I find myself just as irritated by people who call in and attempt to shellac these guys as I do by people who call in like "Wooooo! Sean yer a great 'merican! I wanna blow Iraqis up!" cause it's like STOP GIVING THEM THAT MUCH CREDIT.
Yes, they probably help perpetuate stupid ideologies. But the only way to stop them from doing so would be to shut them down, and I think that would be a patently Bad Decision. So- we abide with the crazies in order to maintain our freedom to express our own ideas.
Which brings us to Hannidate. Why should I be upset that this guy is looking for single women exclusively on Hannidate? If it means he's not hitting on me at a bar, then I say "Go Hannidate."
Hah. Great comment KQ. I'm convinced that they are showmen for the most part--Stephen Colberts without the humor, which makes it easier. I guess I shouldn't say they are good at debating, but maybe skilled? I dunno. They use a lot of tricks seamlessly. Transparent yes, but they leave little room for argument on the other person's behalf because they back them into a verbal corner.
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