Bruce Lee Policy

Some say that the best defense is a good offense. Surely Meisterpugilist and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is amongst those "some."

Different teachers impart knowledge upon their students in different ways. Yoda showed his "motion in the ocean" by raising Luke's X-Wing from the depths of a murky swamp. Paulie made Rocky chase after a chicken. Ducard basically beats the padooky out of Bruce Wayne.

But all of that pales in comparison to the subliminal instruction of Donald Rumsfeld. You and I and anyone that has ever seen him give a speech or answer questions from a special commission literally know thousands of martial arts styles. Focus your chi for a second and see if you feel a special something inside you. What am I talking about? Well, you can check it out at Poe News. They have documented every frame of this secret teaching style. By inserting different "positions" or "stances" in his broadcasted speeches, we have each (subconsciously) become his apprentice over the years.

When asked about the end goal of Sensei Rumsfeld's instruction, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan said, "9/11 changed the course of our country's destiny. Ordinary citizens must now be on high alert when it comes to a growing threat to our way of life. Emper....I mean Secretary Rumsfeld has partnered with the Department of Homeland Security to teach America self-defense. Using the same techniques that our brave men and women in special operations overseas use will better allow citizens young and old to fight terrorism on our terms." I'm a little skeptical that there might be more going on here. History (and by that I mean film) has been littered with malicious uses of such a system of training. Such famous thespians as Matt Damon, Frank Sinatra, Ben Stiller, and up-and-comer Summer Glau have warned us of a danger that might be all too real. At once, we might all be "activated" by a phrase during a State of the Union address (well, those that watch it...so the threat might not be that bad!). Alls I'm sayin' is watch out Prime Minister of Malaysia!