Monday, October 10, 2005

i3: 1|\|C0|\/|pr3h3n$1b!3 internet idioms

This is more a primer for the older crowd--those that discovered fire from lightning, traveled too and fro in horsedrawn carriage, and looked upon Pong as the second coming. I'm here to get you bionic. You might be talking in 1s and 0s soon--but you'll be hearing them before that.

There's a craze hitting the dextrous fingers of today's youth. Its nickname is "leetspeak", an e.e.cummingsesque butchering of the English language that includes numerical substitutions for letters and abbreviating abbreviations for the sake of brevity. Emoticons beware... !337$p3@k is here to make you :_( .

It flourishes in the online gaming community, of which I have absolutely no experience whatsoever, I promise. Out of all of the phrases, one stands out in my mind and my soul as the most annoying damn one. "pwn". An intentional mispelling of own...its used to say something or someone is better or more skilled than its "pwnd" object. Other exciting ones are w00t and n00b. For the peddlers of leet, nothing shows their happiness more than an exclamation of "w00t"! When they level up, find that special sword that matches their armor, or shoot someone with a Springfield 1903 Model Sniper Rifle. Nothing angers them more when some "n00b" either A) has no idea "how to play the game" or B) kills them repeatedly with rudimentary tactics such as running into a room with guns blazing.

That mom and pop software company has put together a little guide for the uninformed. Wikipedia (one of my favorite new resources), has an expanded entry on other commonly used acronyms. Three of my most often used ones are AFK Bio BRB (away from keyboard, going to take a biological [bathroom] break--be right back), gtg wife debuff (got to go, wife is about to take an axe to the computer in a justified Luddite rage), and BRB DWO POS! (be right back, dogs wildin' out, piece of stuff!). If you want to fully immerse yourself in it, check out Wiki's list of internet slang or list of computing and IT abbreviations.

I wouldn't dare give you this knowledge without the tools to fight against it if you so desired. The sworn enemy of all young leetspeakers is the ESRB. You can rally behind them if so inclined...or find out exactly what little Johnny got for Christmas. GTA: San Andreas doesn't stand for Geological Teaching Assistant: San Andreas. On a more personal level you can translate leetspeak back into normal speech to "protect your kids" using this tool. They've got a list as well.

I think the whole thing is kinda funny. Not that I would know, but I hear that some people get upset when being called "n00b" or being told they have been "pwnd". Don't they realize that once they, the gods of the fast-twitch hand muscles and incredible hand-eye coordination, once started as a lowly neophyte?

5 comments:

Chris said...

Let's say, hypothetically, that you do occasionally pwn random noobs online in games like Halo. Who would they be able to thank for the pwnage? I ask because, if I were to, hypothetically-speaking, play occasionally on XBL, it would be interesting to know if we may have ever inadvertantly crossed virtual paths before.

Ned said...

Ah Chris...I don't have XBL. I play Halo the old fashioned way: right next to my opponent who likes to throw their controller at me. Halo's actually my least accomplished game in terms of mano e mano. Goldeneye? Mario Kart 64? Super Smash Brothers? DOUBLE DRIBBLE!? Fugggetaboutit!

Ned said...

Wait, which Chris is this?

Chris said...

The Chris that, after enjoying your blog these last couple of weeks, must disagree with old friend PhatCabg and say that you do, indeed, have verbs.

Ned said...

I know that Chris...I didn't know he was married. Congrats son! Thanks for visiting!